i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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