think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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