Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
