it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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