I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
