Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
