week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
