thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
