She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
