Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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