Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
