I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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