dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's the barista slut.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
