Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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