I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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