were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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