Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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