We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
