Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
