All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
