with your own penis?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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