I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
