It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
