is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
