He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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