you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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