I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
