I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Who put my cat in the fridge?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
