He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
