I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Say something about gay babies.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
