I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
MIDGETS
????
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
