So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
