Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
