Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
