Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
