so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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