you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
