that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
