I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
