I just threw up on my dentist
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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