can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
