Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
