Having a random hookup so left but love u
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
