just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
