I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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