i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
