just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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