so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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