You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
