Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
