We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I supernannyed him into submission
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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